Views From the Couch: Vol. 13


Since the last “Views From The Couch,” the San Antonio Spurs have gone 5-1 during that span. They began with: a win over the Oklahoma City Thunder, a win over the new look New Jersey Nets, a win at home in which they lost one of their stars against the Memphis Grizzlies, a loss in Memphis by 16 points against the Grizzlies, a win in Ohio against the Cleveland Cavaliers and concluded with a blowout of the Miami Heat by 30 points. The Accountant Though

What Happened in Memphis?

After watching the game, it seemed that the Spurs looked out of flux on offense. Passes were a step late, guys weren’t in the right spot to receive a pass and everyone seemed to be using a different playbook before the game. The 22 turnovers were too much to overcome. The lack of defense was another issue. Memphis was able to score over 20 points in each quarter and shot over 50% without any three pointers. The worst part? One of Memphis’ best players (Marc Gasol) got ejected in the first half and the Spurs still had no chance at winning.

Watching the game, I’ll say it’s excusable considering the Grizzlies have only lost eight home games and the Spurs were playing their first game without Tony Parker.

After the game; George Hill, who struggled (6 points and 6 turnovers) put the loss on himself. Even though the loss wasn’t Hills fault, he still felt responsible for his poor play; but as Ginobili had said, the entire team had a bad night. Hill avenged himself by scoring 22 points the next night in a win against the Cavaliers.

The “Heatles” Concert Tour Visits the AT&T Center

The Heat visited San Antonio for the first time and were given a surprise before the game even started. After losing at home against the Orlando Magic, (in which they let a 24-point lead slip away.) the Heat came to San Antonio ready to get back on the winning track. They thought it would be easy with the Spurs missing Tony Parker. Then, moments before the game began, the Spurs announced Parker’s injury had healed and he would be starting.

From the opening tip and Manu’s first layup in traffic, you could see the Spurs were just going to exploit the horrendous Miami defense. And did they exploit it? Yes they did. They made a franchise record 17 three pointers and had eight of their players score in double figures. Every single player that got any minutes with the Spurs scored at least once in the game. The Spurs ended up winning by 30 points (125-95) and the win also capped their highest scoring output of the season. Before the Heat game, the Spurs previous high in points was 124 in a overtime game against the Houston Rockets.

March is Perfect Testing Material

Sure Dirk!The month of March is going to be the toughest month of basketball the team will have to play before the playoffs begin. The Spurs will play 16 games in the 31-day month. Of those 16 games, 10 of them are against potential playoff teams. This will be a very good test for the Spurs to measure themselves one last time before the playoffs begin in April.

The 10 game test will include: Memphis on the road (The Spurs lost this game on Tuesday by 16 points), Miami at home (The Spurs won this game by 30 points), the Los Angeles Lakers at home, Miami on the road, Dallas Mavericks on the road, Denver Nuggets on the road, Portland Trail Blazers on the road, Memphis on the road, Portland at home and Boston at home to conclude the brutal month.  All of these teams will most likely make the playoffs and the Spurs will be facing them anywhere from the first round to the finals pending they make it that far.

Win Your Argument

This information will be great for the casual fan in the event he or she gets caught in a sports debate with a fan from another team. I’ve phrased potential questions a fan from another team could verbally attack you with, here’s how you should respond.

“What’s your teams record?”

The Spurs are 51-11 and currently ranked as the number one overall seed in the entire NBA.

“How good are you at home?”

The Spurs have only lost two games at home this entire season; they are 29-2 in the AT&T Center.

“Impressive, but can you win on the road?”

The Spurs can win on the road and boast a 22-9 road record to prove it.

“I hate watching the Spurs, they’re so boring!”

Actually, the Spurs have scored over 100 points in 41 of their 62 games. They score 104 points per game and hold teams to 97 points per game. That means the Spurs win by an average of 7 points. The Spurs score more than the Lakers, Mavericks and Heat. Still boring?

“Your team is old! They’re not going to be fresh in the playoffs!”

That’s not necessarily the case; the Spurs have won 27 of their 62 games by 10 points or more. Seven of those games were won by 20 points or more, that means that the starters have been getting “extra” rest in a little less than half of their games played thus far.

“In the playoffs, the game slows down and it becomes a possession to possession game. You have to be able win close games in order to win in the playoffs.”

The Spurs actually excel at that, in 13 games decided by five points or less, the Spurs have won 11 and only lost two.

The Past Should Be Revisited Through Laughter

And now we’re at the grand finale that you all have been waiting for. It’s time to see if your joke made VFTC!

(Please enjoy hilarious commentary from fans, writers and other media outlets via Twitter) Twitter though

  • Thunder win: 109-105

In the first quarter, I tweeted “Pop already picked up a technical foul halfway into the first quarter. Awesome!

Loyal Spurs fan @mojavi74 was given free tickets from Project Spurs. He had this to say while at the game: “Any seat I can see Bill Shoenig’s mustache, is a good one. Thanx @projectspurs

At one point in the game, Tony Parker drove in for a layup and Thunder forward Nick Collison clobbered him. Parker got up very fast and walked toward Collison and showed him he didn’t appreciate the foul. After the minor incident I tweeted “Into the Octagon: Tony Parker vs. Nick Collison.

  • Nets win: 106-96

Before the game began, I tweeted “#Spurs (47-10) vs #Nets (17-40) time! Eager to see how long it takes before Derons panther tattoo attacks Sasha Vujacic!

In the first quarter, @MikeTaylor760 tweeted “Congrats, D-Will. You get to pass to Sasha Vujacic.

Also in the first quarter, @russbengtson tweeted “Good news for the Nets: It doesn’t appear Deron Williams has entirely lost his will to live. Yet.

After Nets guard Sasha Vujacic made a three pointer, I tweeted “Sasha Vujacic’s cafeteria lady haircut makes a 3 and keeps #Nets within 4pts.

After a Tim Duncan dunk, @madcowheff had this to say on Tim Duncan’s dunking ability: “Tim Duncan wouldn’t jump over a KIA, He would have dunked over a Tank.

  • Grizzlies win: 95-88

Early in the game, Grizzlies guard Tony Allen ran into a referee and injured him on accident. I tweeted “Tony Allen accidentally knocked over the ref, don’t blame him, he’s Tony Allen. He doesn’t know what the hell is going on?

(Quick tangent: I was at this game live and noticed something about Tony Allen; he is a fascinating person to watch live. He talks to himself, has mood swings, looses his temper and then goes into a type of frenzy where it looks like he is living in his own fantasy world. Look for him if you ever see the Grizzlies live.)

Since it was Oscars night on television, @musicrescuesme tweeted “I wonder if the people at the oscars know the #spurs are playing. #priorities

As Manu was taking over the game in the second quarter, @RichardCOliver tweeted “This may be Manu’s best all-around showing in … 2011?

In the second quarter, @madcowheff tweeted “Don’t worry grizzlies, Spurs hate all types of bears. Care, Gummi, Polar, Pooh…all types.

In the third quarter, when there still hadn’t been any impact from Richard Jefferson, @RichardCOliver tweeted “Paging R. Jefferson. Paging R. Jefferson.

  • Grizzlies loss: 93-109

In the first quarter, Dick Bavetta was doing his normal reffing duty as @madcowheff tweeted “Dick Bavetta’s first game reffing was a Raptors game…Not the basketball team, Actual raptors.

In the second quarter, Richard Jefferson hit a three-point basket; I tweeted “Richard Jefferson’s pulse meter just beeped! #Breakthrough He’s alive!

After the game, @risenfenix11 asked me “is it bad that I am still looking for that #4TimesTheSteak commercial? I need to smile after that loss” This is a very important matter! Have you seen the “4 Times the Steak” video yet? It is a must watch!

After the loss, @SlappyGoLucky tweeted “Yeah. Final camera shot of baby in spurs jersey drooling really sums that game up. #Spurs

This final tweet came from Project Spurs own @Kap10Jack: “Tony Parker is kind of a big deal #RonBurgundy #Spurs

  • Cavaliers win: 109-99

Cleveland has gone through enough this season; their entire season is one big sad joke. Let’s spare them from being laughed at for just this once.

  • Heat win: 125-95

Before the game began, surprising news came out that Parker would be starting, @yowhatupT had this to say on the breaking news: “Holy Hell… Tony Parker is starting tonight. This is the first tough move by any Frenchman since WWI

In the first quarter, @madcowheff tweeted “1,3,6< 9,20,21. That's just science.

In the second quarter, when the Spurs were up by 20 points, @russbengtson tweeted “Curious what Pop will find to be mad about during the in-game interview.

Also in the second quarter, @broncohighway tweeted “If Spurs played in the East, 70-10 might be a cake walk.

In the third quarter, DeJuan Blair began to make his impact on the game, @russbengtson tweeted “Every time DeJuan Blair gets to a loose ball, an angel loses its ACLs.

In the third quarter, Heat center Eric Dampier was ejected for intentionally pushing Parker on a fast break layup, I tweeted “It looks like Dampier brought his #Mavericks etiquette with him to the #Heat.

When the game was almost at its end, @bruce_arthur had this to say on the Heat: “62 games in, and the Miami Heat look like they’re back where they started.

Toward the end of the game, @madcowheff had a geography tweet: “South Texas > South Beach

After the game, @LarHernandez tweeted: “Steve Novak will do your taxes, then drain 3’s on you’re a$$!” After I read this, Steve Novak will now be known as “The accountant” in my book.

Remember, if you have a twitter account; don’t forget to tweet during the games. If it’s hilarious, I’m going to catch it and use it. If you don’t have a twitter account and have a good joke in mind, email me.

We will end Views from the couch 13 on this note:

After the game, Project Spurs own @jrog83 tweeted “P.S., Chris Bosh was outscored by Matt Bonner.

Like a Bosh. Like a, like a Bosh.

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